On Being Authentic

I read a lot of other artist's blogs and various musings. There are those that talk all about technique and never reveal anything about themselves and there are those artists that are all about location for plein aire, struggles with bugs and light and wind. Sometimes I read about how physically hard it is to stand in front of a large canvas and move paint around for hours. I know that one. Often the reads are about lack of sales, lack of money, lack of inspiration. I have learned a great deal.
But being an authentic artist is something that I don't often read about.  Defining "authentic" as it relates to artwork means different things to different artists, of course. For me, it means being honest with your talents, your strengths and weakness, and above all, being honest with yourself. Understanding  your own motivation for why you do what you do, how you do it and how you authentically tap into your own creativity is a hard thing. All too often, I find that artists are full of bravado and ego, mostly to hide the underlying fear underneath. Fear of failure and fear of ridicule being the biggest I can think of.  Artists seem to like to talk about art (and this is okay...) but when it takes the place of doing, it is dangerous. All of these things crowd the mind, interfere with the work and keep one from being real. It's a struggle being real. Telling it like it is, standing by what you know to be true and looking at your art and yourself with real standards and integrity is a challenge.
Painting something, writing something, composing something and then throwing it out into the world to be seen is a painful thing. That old man rejection is only waiting to seize it all and destroy what little pride you have left. But if you have been authentic and honest about what and how you are creating, the hurt that comes from rejection is only bitter for a short while. The salve for this kind of wound is in knowing that at least you have been authentic and honest and true. No one can ever take this away from you and there is solace in that. And of course, there is always Conan to remember, "That which does not kill us, makes us strong."  Stay real.