Tom Ryan 1953-2012

One of the best friends I have ever had died last week. Without warning, he stole out the back door and left. If he could have written his exit, it would have been this quick departure. No hospital, no long illness, no inconvenience to anyone. After 35 years of knowing Tom, his leaving has left a big hole in my heart as well as the many others who knew him. The world is just a little darker these days.
Tom would have been flattered to know that I painted his picture. He would have laughed at some of the wrinkles that I left out. Then he would have blushed. So very humble, so very smart and always listening to whatever nonsense I had to say.
We talked about stuff for hours while I would paint. His writing, my painting, the art world, the jerks and lovelies in this world all seemed to run together like a stream of consciousness when we talked.
We talked often about the bread truck. My husband's favorite line is that one should, "be ready for when the bread truck may hit you." Death can sneak up on you that way and then all those things you meant to say and all of the things you meant to do are now impossible. Tom and I laughed often about getting older, getting wrinkles, aching backs, and the fact that our time is getting shorter and shorter. I never thought that he wouldn't be in my life.
I am lucky to have known such a fine human being. I will always be grateful for his friendship and support through all these years. I am not the only one left feeling empty at his passing. There are so many that grieve that this generous heart is now gone. My only solace is that he is indeed in a better place and if I behave, I may get the chance to see him again.